liten shan

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

happy chinese new year to all.. i'm right now in malaysia writing this week's of ongoings.. anyways, these picture was taken many chinese new years ago and its me and crappy shin.. heh!!

new year eve was just horrible and draggy. dad, bro and i went to bedok court to have reunion dinner with dad's family.. without mom, its just plain wierd. what's a reunion when the whole family's not there.. anyways, it was just plain boring and the food was mostly bad cept for the duck and chicken. fellowship with those guys is just plain boring too... we just live in a totally different world and paradigms. and i, standing in between their age. has totally nothing to talk about. at least paychin's age is nearer to zijie... i am totally out of league.

in the morning of new year day, the first, we had to go to grandma's place at parbury hills. it was just plain grinding. like, the house was totally hot and stuffy. to think that a million dollar apartment gives horrible ventilation. it was just so hot and stuffy that dad wants us out in less than an hour. oh before that, uncle cheeyen and family came to our place for a house visit. you know, although our family doesn't like aunt carina, at least, they bother to pay my mom a visit. as hypocrite as our entire family of relative is, we expected worse from some others. they actually bother about us. its all good..

well, then the night dinner at holiday inn at havelock's was purely a heavenly feast. i've never in my life ate lobster before though... its not a big deal but hey, a first is better than nothing. also, that night, i had the best sharkfin soup in my entire life. can you imagine?! a small claypot of fin soup and its not shredded, the fins are in one huge piece.. not one!! but two to three piece.. can you imagine that? a feast!! of course, along with other delicacy, i really wish my mom was there..

on the second, with hopefuls, i wanted to come to chasan.. mom wanted to come so much but she was having doubts. i was like, can't you make a decision and she said no.. in the end, i was making a fuss out of it because i had to cancel my outing with friends thinking they are going..

then i have to make a date with them again. one hour later, brother woke up and he found out we're not going, he made a fuss about it too. it was unanimous. i mean! at least she should just inform us early and instead of being indecisive. then she decided to go, and i was about to step out of house to meet up with sinlee.. i was like, wtf.. can't you make a bloody decision now?! and she was like, ok!! we are going.. i felt so apologetic and i promised to treat yahui and sinlee to a meal at least for backing out last minute. you know, i feel so stupid!

anyways, we made it to chasan and here i am now.. so, on the secondth night, bro and i went up to genting with weekuan and qianye... in the middle of the night, we walked around. the cool climate up there brought back pools of memories i had in japan. i really miss that land. the people are nice but the land has a totally different feel. its just different. the cold air up there just soothens one's spirit. though ironically, i was pressed by them into walking into the casino and bet. i didn't bet cos i know my habit. heh!! after like 15 years, i'm finally back uphill again. it was just pure fun... though its not a hill.. heh..

anyways, on the 3rd, i woke up late. song brought bro and i to fajar for food and recreation. guess playing bowling is a sort of recreation. with song and kuang, lit, xiangxiang, xiang's friend, chong, han and with some bryan and jinye guy. it was pure fun resulting in mom and dad going back to singapore first. anyways, uncle chok treated us to steamboat. we walked back to his house for a chit chat session and you know what!! uncle chok helped me find the crystal cross that i've been looking since i lost my previous one. the color is not the same though but i remember the last time when i buy that red cross, i first notice the yellow looking color first. it seems that fate has decreed that ultimately, this cross belongs to me. you know, i'm not into thinking that a cross will protect me that kinda superstition but i love collecting special looking cross. and i'm not those who just buy them anywhere, i had this thing for things i like. i need to feel it that the accessory and i had some sort of fate. it is only by this providence will only the accessory look good on me. and for my case, i look for crosses that its hard to find and buy. i really need to buy a beautiful thing for uncle chok.

i am a happy woman now. i don't care what people says, but really, i live in my own dreams, my own world and i don't mind people coming in as my best friends or whatever.. but i do mind if i have to do things i have no interest with. i don't like to meet up with dad's family, but i love my mom's family. i think, treating people with respect will only gain genuine sincerity from a person. like my uncle's and aunts, they are not rich people, but we are happy people. because of this, whatever we face, we are stronger ten folds. because of this, when one is in dire straits, ten folds of receiving, will be aided upon. if a uncle treats me a table of 3.6k sgd of food but its all for the sake of inviting us since i'm my father's child, i will not give a damn. if a uncle who treats me a table of steamboat which cost 200 ringgit of food, i will be the happiest and most grateful person on earth, for he treats me with a genuine heart and with all that he has, and not just because i had to. you know, i'll never forget my mom's family's every single thing they have done for me. i hope they know that... one day i'll do something for them...

happy chinese new year~~ i'm going home soon...

liten shan@ 12:55 AM

Monday, February 12, 2007

this picture is taken by me when i was in cha san last may. on the left, the brown tea tiny teapot belongs to weesong but its missing now. i was having tea in the afternoon as usual and i decided to take a picture of them with my film slr. my uncle which is weesong's dad, is a chinese tea guru. he experiments with different sort of tea to find the good ones. he's well known in malaysia and often interviewed by the local big newspapers...

last week was one hell of a week. all i did was do insane standing and bending of my back around.. it was just.. pathetic.. yet!! heh. fun!! with exception of my brother getting a new ipod nano.. pfft..

anyways, 10th of feb, saturday, our church had a valentines' day celebration and my cell is in charge of the kitchen, literally.. the entire day was so just busy peeling, chopping, brewing ice lemon tea, serving and cleaning up. at the end of the day, myself, samuel, eunice and farrand, we were the last to leave the church compounds in the middle of the night. well, we were also the first few buncha people to reach church that day. all in a day's hardwork, most of the time i spend my time alone and with slight unhappiness with frankie over some cutting. i don't get it.. thats how i felt. at a point, i so wanted to leave.. but as you know, once i start at something, i have a tendency to finish it. its like this art thing, though i'm not doing well and might be kicked out, i stil want to finish it.. whether here or outta country.. i'm gonna finish it at least..

talking to mengmeng now.. he so cute one.. don't know why i talk to him i become sot.. muahaha.. guess its because he's a bit sotsot also..

anyways, yesterday dad bought bro a ipod nano and... i'm like. he's gonna ignore my shuffle and not gonna repair it.. anyways, i bought myself a pair of suede shoes.. its dirty pink and purple mix and its clarks. i bought it cheap at sixty eight bucks. wootage~ i wanted to buy a ninety eight dollar shoe but its a pit pricy and doesn't have my size.. but if there is my size, i might just buy it. you know, its hard to find a pair of nice girly shoe for my feet.. cos i've got big feet...

but i really wanted a nano too for my birthday.. my brother ends up having it... pfft.. my parent's doesn't even remember my birthday at all.. its just so sad..

i'm thinking, i'm feeling a bit bitter.. sigh~~ back to bleach manga..

liten shan@ 1:31 PM

Friday, February 09, 2007

the pic ture above was my work piece 2 years ago.. its a bit stretched as i couldn't upload the entire piece..

anyways, this is how it looked like.

actually, this picture was from an illustration in a manga, "death note". and this character is L, the estranged and eccentric investigator. i liked his character a lot, way before the movie was out..

oh wells, 8th is over and its 9th now for me.. i didn't do anything but sleep all day at home. didn't want to do those uneccessary activities. probably its all the beefs fault.. spoil my mood..

anyways, mio offered her help on the 10th for our church event. my cell group is doing some food preparation and we're all gonna cook! its funny because most of our group members are guys. it would be interesting to see how things will turn out.

hmm.. actually, nothing much to post about though, not much thoughts and things aren't getting better for our family either.. this year will be really strange for me since cny will be in singapore for the first time.. i will miss all my cousins back in cha san and there goes my shopping and eating spree.. i wonder.. what will we do this year..

simon passed his driving test on the 8th.. what a day to remember.. muahahahaaaa~~

sigh, still can't gather my thoughts..

liten shan@ 2:13 AM

Thursday, February 08, 2007

this waterfall picture was taken in nagano, norikura koen, one of the falls in the mountains. i am always walking in front of the troop and this picture is taken from a different angle. its special in a sense because everyone took the waterfall from the front view and i walked in further to take it from the side. i love the colors and the contrasts. it was the best waterfall pictures so far...

i'm 22!! kaka's jersey number and my age for the next 365 days. how idiotic!! sinlee and yahui just had their 21st birthday.. pfft...

well, over my last 22 years of my insignificant life, i guess all i did is probably insignificant too and nothing much to mention about..

anyways, today, lunch out with sinlee and a karaoke session. i had pasta and pizza and vietnamese fish bento in the afternoon.. think i'm crazy?

i wanted to eat steamboat for dinner that badly but vincent suggested beef stew.. the stew is so expensive and not good at all.. i wanted to oppose the idea but somehow, i can't.. don't know why.. i didn't like the beef stew i had and i'll probably won't visit there again. anyways, we went for desert after dinner and andy and albert bought a slice of cake for me and yun mei.. how sweet.. yun mei gave me a cute pouch but i didn't get anything for her.. guess i was too busy lately.. i need to find something nice for her though~~

throughout the gathering, andy said he has never seen me and vins taken a picture together. well, frankly speaking.. we took a lot in groups though but i kinda had a feeling we did deliberately took a picture in nagoya before.. but i can't recall it. i dont like to take picture with him, he always give that sian look.. and because we always argue, it seems like getting us to pose for a picture is hard. they took a video instead.. and i knew it must be andy's idea.. somehow, the excruciating process ended and before they make us take another picture since it was a video, i finally recalled and thwarted their plans.. i just don't like taking picture with him!! anyways, the picture him and i took? was taken in tachiya supermarket while we were buying groceries for nc3 dinner. it was a funny shot. with a tinge of jasmine's reflective image on the glass.. that reminded me.. the curry.

i tried to cook curry for the church nc3 dinner at yamashita sensei's house but it turned out bad... everyone was trying to rescue the curry!! matsui gou was really amazing!! heh!! he put yoghurt into it. but the curry turns out bad.. and it was a known fact among the japanese.. pfft. that i can't cook curry!! muahahaa.. of course, i can now..

during the candle blow out today, i was requested to make a wish. i gave a thought and deep down inside, i realised i have no wishes for anything. for mom's its a prayer rather than just a wish. if i could wish for something, i would wish for more wishes, rather than just 1.

just talked to mengmeng.. he's probably like a sister to me.. so dreamy.. yet, he's one tall guy whom ling thought he looked decent at least.. though somehow, i still can't link his personality and looks together.. just cant.. sheesh~

liten shan@ 1:05 AM

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

i remember very well the time when i was in nagoya two and a half years ago, i stayed in a pretty neat apartment with a nice toilet, bathroom, and a tiny kitchen along the corridor and a small room with a tiny balcony. i sleep facing this picture.. and every night, i would have to finish uploading everyone's picture and make sure the next day, i have enough memory space and battery for photos. so, all in all, i'm the most stressed out person at the end of the day. i remember one night, jiamin and zaza had to drag me out of my blanket which i was lying on and cover me with it. i didn't even shower out of exhaustion and they told me not to either. well, thats the nature of the job, to take 2 heavy role as a photographer and video man at the same time. you know, it was really fun though, at the same time, i suffered from a horrible nervous breakdown at the last night of the trip.

so, what i learn from that trip is, i should stop taking everything into my own hands and blame myself for everything. at least, i should.. try to take off some work load off me.. and not be too harsh on myself all the time. although, apparently, i'm a bummer and slacker now, no one will believe how serious can i get. oh wells, doesn't really matter!!

last sunday, yukiko left japan for exchange studies in australia and at the same time, zhiming leaves singapore for australia to continue furthering his studies. so, early in the morning, i met zhuyang for a church service in covenant efc. the sermon wasn't exactly that sleepy because earlier on, at the lrt, i met with a stupid incident. its so stupid that i just want cuss at the lrt system. i don't get it!! we pay so much for the fair, can't they hire at least one or two more people to station at each station instead of waiting like no tomorrow when there's error in machines? i wonder where does all the money goes to man. not even a control station at the lrt and the machine sysyem sucks to the core. i was so furious that i don't even feel sorry for delaying time for church service. anyways, in the afternoon, we went to zhiming's place and had a game of dilbert. heheh, board game before he leaves, how uncanny! but it was a good game!! fun!! i didn't know i could be so thick skin and do embarrassing things. i guess, the older you are, the most thick skinned you get.

oh yeah, the sermon kinda hits on me badly. in a sense, i can one hundred percent relate myself to it because, at one point, it seems to be talking about me. after all these years, what i lack is perseverance and endurance. i tend to give up so easily and take the easy way out all the time. and i never persevere myself to the end. even for now, i couldn't make it through. though, its all talk to what the pastor said, i still think in some sense, my mind is much more broadened now. i realised what i need is not someone rebuke me, but for myself to face the fact i've been procrastinating about school stuffs. its stupid in a sense, but at least i know it. how silly i have been for these years...

i was watching some tv and i notice zheng shao zong is such a happy willed celebrity. he has only one abled ear yet he took stride in everything he do. i really look up to him a lot. i'm not those idol craze kinda girl but i do admire tv actors and actress or singers who holds a certain kind of attitude and talents. in this sense, shao zong is someone i really look up to cos he is also a photographer.

sometimes, life is like a pathway reaching to a door ultimately. whether its in the beginning stage or the middle process or the end, ultimately, a door will be shown. as tired as i am, i always look towards the door. because i know, at the other side of the door, there might be more paths or another door. doesn't matter if its locked or not, as long i can open it, all i need is what i want i to be.

today, mom's going for a small surgical procedure. its not something big but i never know... blessed are those who bless people.. i pray that my mom will be alright though..

liten shan@ 10:50 AM

Sunday, February 04, 2007

i have a damn long day and night.. its just total poonage..

i tried to sleep on saturday morning, but ended up sleeping 10minute before i depart from home. so i ended up late taking a taxi there.. cos erny called me and told me its open saturday and every cg has to do a dance. when i reached there, i was like.. omg.. how embarrassing..

but oh wells, my group is kinda the oldest so we ended up winning the game. why? because the older you are, the thicker the skin you have. get it? quite embarrassing eh? but thats what we did.. at least, we got a 30 dollar swensen's voucher.. that made up for it..

after church, i went back home and immediately, went to imm to shop. i bought a jeans cheap at 43 bucks and a top for 10 only.. didn't want to buy more.. i'm those kinda person who sees whatever i like at first sight, try it and buy it without thinking.. then dad decided to get the dvd and the woofer... total wootage..

came home tired.. and i had to fix the bloody dvd set.. i fell asleep anyways and brother was hogging on to my room.. in the end, i sleep on the cold hard floor for hours... i've got an idiot for a brother....

now i'm having all back aches and head aches and.. i'm thinking if i should strain myself further.. thinking if i should go covenant efc.. oh well, zhiming never liked me anyways, maybe i should give it a skip..

taken on board doulos in jiamin's dorm inside the ship. it was exclusive~~ from left, jiamin, me and beverly.. i miss 04 team so much!! the funniest bunch of friends ever!!

liten shan@ 8:17 AM

Friday, February 02, 2007

hmm.. this is a picture i took while i was in malaysia some time ago.. i really liked this picture.. the sky is so beautiful..

anyhows, today.. soksee called me in the afternoon and told me she'll be here.. i was still sleeping then.. i went back to sleep after her call and she called me again telling me to come down. i kinda refuse and her battery went flat. i went back to sleep. all of a sudden, my brother banged into my room telling me soksee is at our doorhouse.. i was like, alright.. she manage to find her way here.. we talked a bit in my room and we kinda fell asleep.. she says my room is lethargic.. heh~~

just finished talking to sinlee on the phone.. and we had strange ideas again.. for my birthday.. i'm turning twenty two!! 22!! i want jersey number 22 from acmilan~~ heh~~ guess its impossible eh~~

tomorrow's church, i must remember to wake up..

k, my schedule is set like this..
6th is lunch out with lin,
7th is team meet up for steamboat..
8th my big day which i foresee a midnight ktv session and a sushi buffet..

moral of the story? i'm gonna die of exhaustions.. muahahahaa... funfun~~

liten shan@ 10:29 PM

andy, me, esther and jiabin at the streets in orchard during christmas season...

hmm.. to blog on the start of the day is sure strange but you know, i'm a stranger.. hahahaahaa~~

anyways, last night, esther and i decided to plan for the next outing before she leaves for perth. so we kinda agreed on the time to msn but somehow, our plans were thwarted. her msn's bugged or infected with virus i think. so we decided to call each other. well, she called me and it came to a point, i've decided to call andy for a conference.. as usual, we trio always headstart the plans made. then after talking for like some time, andy kept hanging up and made me call him back again and again. it was so irritating.. anyways, in the end, after talking behind vincent's back, though i was msning him at the same time, esther decided to fight with her com and she hung up. well, andy and i continued our conversation and it was quite nice.. just that throughout the entire process including esther's convo, andy kept suarning me.. woah~~ super fustrating man!! but overall, it was a good talk.. really like talking to andy.. cos i can complain like hell.. muahahaa.. and he complains that i complain a lot.. muahahaa.. well, we were actually talking about the injuries sustained throughout the 05 trip to nagoya.. how andy dislocated his arm and how vincent broke him arm...

well, before the trip starts in 05, andy told me personally before the trip that his arm is dislocated and so, i'm the only freaking person in the entire team who knows about it. i didn't really bother to tell the whole world because i didn't think the silly man would do stupid things like playing ping pong with a baseball bat. when we were first in meigaidai, i was talking to some professor and after which, yuji came telling us andy is injured. well, at that instance, i ran like a mad woman looking for him, worried like hell while the others remains nochalant. i guess its because they didn't know.. and by the time we found him, i was there laughing at the same time worried and thinking of how stupid he can be.. mixed feelings i guess, but i know its an old injury, so i remained silent and hopes for his recovery rather than crying for him..

well, his injury led to many responsibilities i have to cover for him. carrying heavy stuffs for the team other than vincent whose arms are perfect then. i remembered one morning, vincent and i had to wake up early in the morning and prepare to help seiji with the sound equipments and we had to go shop for groceries in tachiya.. so, the two of us were praying, but vincent took all his time and i end up a few seconds rush.. pfft.. what i remembered clearly is, he carried a whole load of heavy and huge equipments up to the crusade room. seiji was impressed and complimented him being strong.

little did we know, a week or two later, we ended our last english lessons on professor rines' class and vincent and yuusuke decided to arm wrestle again!! i remember the previous week, they arm wrestled in the green area and vincent lost. and what i remembered more specifically is, yuusuke's a tennis player and ambitioned to be a coach. anyways, that fateful day, vincent and yuusuke lock arms and wrist to wrist, decided to arm wrestle again. my face was sticking in front of the two hands and go, they started. knowing vincent was about to lose, i was like.. "vincent!! don't lose!! jiayou!!" sorta thing.. and he went trying again... and then suddenly a "crack" sounds and i started looking at the tables. the tables were hard wood and near impossible to break and i noticed vincent look bad. i hurriedly hit yuusukes hands off vincent and his face turns white immediately. i know, he broke it hard! i called jody immediately but he didn't pick up. i called masayoshi and ask him to meet us at the hospital. we hurried someone to call the hospital and i told them not to call the health office but someone did anyways. i guess, at the end of that night, i was terrorized by that sound.

i held back my tears during a gathering, but deep inside me, i was feeling so horrible and filled with guilt. back in apartment, i sat beside my futon and started tearing. jasmine was fortunately a good listener. i know its not entirely, but its still partly my fault. i tried to be nice to him though i hope it wouldn't create misunderstandings. cos i had to see him in school, and in church too. it was 7 days a week man!!

up till now, i still feel horrible... didn't like the crack sound.. if he never recovers, i'll still blame myself for encouraging him to continue wrestling even though he was down. that is what andy and i had been talking about. i've never come so clean before but i really do hope that the next trip i'm gonna have, no more injuries please!!

liten shan@ 7:31 AM

Thursday, February 01, 2007

today, i've been at home.. watching tv and eating as usual.. and the highlight for today, my idiotic brother broke my bed.. he broke a column and that means i can't lie on that plank.. pfft.. its such a bother.. why do i have such a destructive brother... my laptop, my ipod, my camera and now my bed!!! what's next?!

anyways, the picture above was taken last year in sofun's pre wedding dinner. that was when i cried so bad because i was so tired and i'm forced to sit with people i don't even know. and coming up from singapore up north to kl wasn't something that relaxing either. i didn't even have time to dress up nicely.. my make up was smeared due to tearing too much.. at that moment, i felt like a kid whose lollipop was snatched away by an adult.

well, i would so much want to go to a few countries.. but first, my resolution for this year is, to make lots of money!! heh~~

liten shan@ 10:35 PM