Thursday, November 16, 2006
i'm an emotional person. by chance if you chance on seeing me in tears, its not difficult. just play me a good song, a good movie and good food. as for now, i can't help it but feel sad. really sad.. i didn't know that sadness dwells in me too. often, emotions like being happy, excited, angry, agitated, pathetic, self pity, low self confidence or whatsoever is not hard to comprehend. since it comes and go in a strong sense of directions. sadness, is something i can never comprehend, never be able to grasp the essense of being sad. till, i happens to play this song by random. or perhaps, its not random.. perhaps inside me, i want to hear a song that is touching and yet it stimulates my memory, flashing back to the past. the past may not be sad, it might be my happiest moment, my most enriching experiences.. maybe, its the current emotional experience i've been through, looking back just makes me realised how much i've lost. so.. i'm sad. i'm tearing for no reasons. i feel empty inside my heart. as if its gonna swallow me down its bottomless pit. i've no reason to be sad, but experiencing this emotion somehow gives me a clearer view of being a human being. being able to laugh, cry or smile.. whichever it is, whatever things may be going through, this sadness starts to remind me of a person i really am. not a person who only knows how to indulge in happiness, in self pity, in anger, but a person whom i'm accepted the way i am.