liten shan

Saturday, November 18, 2006

for the past two days, i've been so excited about the video i'd just finished editing after a long haul. i was being lazy and stuffs, even though i've frapped the video for a couple of months already.

anyways, all in all.. nothing significant happens really. i've been stoning at home as usual. its the part of your life when you just feel laidback and oblivious to things around. somehow, i have lots of thoughts that went through my mind though, the fact remains unchanged if actions are not taken at all. in one popular phrase, "i'm lazy!"

i'm not like some super woman who doesn't sleeps at all... i just sleep as and when i'm tired. i don't remember how it all started, probably it started 6 months ago. i really wanted to go to japan this year, thats why i tried to enrol in nafa last year since the holiday is perfect for me to visit japan. little did i found out, that the government decides to have a change in our curriculum and everything was shifted back up. i could't go japan at all~ all the plans i've worked out didn't work out in the end. all the actions in my heads can't fight with reality afterall. i felt so depressed as to why things had to turn out this way. probably thats when it started. after which, i got so used to this bumming life, turning myself away from the everything. refused to accept the fact that i'm sick, physically and as wel, the mental aspect.

was so addicted to uploading videos, this is another video i reallyliked... wasshy sings amazing grace~

liten shan@ 1:08 PM

Thursday, November 16, 2006

i'm an emotional person. by chance if you chance on seeing me in tears, its not difficult. just play me a good song, a good movie and good food. as for now, i can't help it but feel sad. really sad.. i didn't know that sadness dwells in me too. often, emotions like being happy, excited, angry, agitated, pathetic, self pity, low self confidence or whatsoever is not hard to comprehend. since it comes and go in a strong sense of directions. sadness, is something i can never comprehend, never be able to grasp the essense of being sad. till, i happens to play this song by random. or perhaps, its not random.. perhaps inside me, i want to hear a song that is touching and yet it stimulates my memory, flashing back to the past. the past may not be sad, it might be my happiest moment, my most enriching experiences.. maybe, its the current emotional experience i've been through, looking back just makes me realised how much i've lost. so.. i'm sad. i'm tearing for no reasons. i feel empty inside my heart. as if its gonna swallow me down its bottomless pit. i've no reason to be sad, but experiencing this emotion somehow gives me a clearer view of being a human being. being able to laugh, cry or smile.. whichever it is, whatever things may be going through, this sadness starts to remind me of a person i really am. not a person who only knows how to indulge in happiness, in self pity, in anger, but a person whom i'm accepted the way i am.

this video was taken by me, weeks before left for nagoya, half of the team met up at esther's place to practise for the music gig. it was probably one of my boldest idea to have the gig instead of a typical skit or something. i thought, maybe humor shouldn't be always the attention of a night of party. maybe for once, something serious. something fun like this. and i thank God that sandra saw the potential of the idea and made it through.

liten shan@ 6:56 AM

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

today's my first day of school since i didn't go yesterday. it was all okay.. since i've not seen my classmates for months. today's mio's birthday too, and we didn't celebrate like what we promised each other but it was good in a sense since i could catch some sleep..

ok... nothing much to talk about for now..

liten shan@ 8:56 PM