Sunday, October 01, 2006
strange day eh?
its rains today. small drizzles, and i went to the temple today. it wasn't compulsory but i still went ahead. not neccessary a big occassion i have to remember, yet my heart leads the way. i'd always thought, stepping into a chinese temple is a taboo, and all these ceremonies are meaningless. slowly, i kinda discover that, in all kinds of faith or religions, people close to me are still as close and real, and to lose a love one, they hang on to any possible means of actions to recover their loss and to feel at peace.. at least. there, today, i decided to go with a heavy heart. this grandpa of mine wasn't exceptionally close to me. he still cares, but he's not close. but he always treat me with freewill and without restrictions. so, i kinda respect his way of teaching and educating somehow but never wants to share a better relationship with him.
as we left, tears started to fill my eyes a lil bit, not a lot but a lil bit. all of a sudden, i finally realised that he has gone. really gone. you know that kinda agony that preys on you with a sudden and makes you feel the guilt because after all these years, i've never really paid any respect to him at all. anyways, the car continues to move as it drizzles, i continued to space out into the mundane singapore and with hopefuls, i wish to leave it soon.
i direct us to tiong bahru market, its near xca's house.. wanted to call and ask him to reccommend what is nice and what's not. i decided not to cos i don't understand him with his angmoh accented english yet every word starts fast ends short. as we approach a hardware shop, my dad says the things are too expensive by judging a lighter's price tag, while mom and i know by looking at other stuffs, its much cheaper than the other shops opposite our apartment. and soon, dad agreed with the price and bought some hardware and complimented on their services they rendered to us. its amazing how people view things they see at first sight and totally made pressumptions before they gather more evidence. often, its made compared to another outlet that provides a much more self fulfilled criteria to oneself. as we're leaving, the rains starts to pour. its near impossible to get to the car tho its just in front of us.
at this point, i should relate to how simon felt about rainpour yet i love rain a lot. whether its the big storms or the small drizzle. to me, the more the better. as each drops turns into each strings of water.. it thups along my heartbeat to create a much more exciting, more enthusiastic, more power, more rhythmic heart beat. as if its horns thru a huge ancient chinese war horn and cause anxiety in people. it calms my soul.. my mind~~ and rain is makes a person lethargic.. its good.. since i will sleep too...
oh.. happy children's day.. to all the childrens in the world and those who still thinks they are~~
liten shan@
5:13 AM
