Sunday, June 19, 2005
the very moments...sometimes, at a point in your life, you just have something to say about it, yet you don't know what to say. its like a river that is ever flowing, yet fishes won't stop even if one dies. you know that kinda feeling? at a point, i just felt blank. everything doesn't seem to be alright... i call this, God's plan.
throughout my time in Japan, i thought a lot... things i went through, in fact, almost all are not so good events. conflicts with someone... unhappiness with another... andy dislocated his arm... vincent fractured his arm... wasshy left nanzan alive for gospel choir... katsuhiro refuses to talk about christianity... and so many other things... why does it happens this way? i don't know.. maybe i'll never know.. God knows... and most of the time, i stay alone.. guess its a good time of retreat for me too...
my love for japan never fails.. even at the point of berserk, i still love this place who has planted a seed in my heart... next year, i'm thinking of going somewhere else though... i felt that God has been leading me to somewhere for a change of heart.. not because to take away that burden for japan.. but to increase it... so, i'm still deciding though... don't know...
i guess, coming back was a big challenge for me... or going to japan already was... i didn't really experience the re entry sorta feeling because i'm always away... and its not as dramatic as before..
i don't know what i'm saying... in a air conditioned room, i'm perspiring...
i have nothing more to say...
liten shan@
12:33 AM
