Thursday, March 03, 2005
fearfear is setting in.. creeping into my heart each and every second and not letting it go... it grips my heart and compelled them apart and lift it up and down and many many other things just gets into it... i'm really scared.. don't know why.. just scared!!
its the fear of going to hospital.. i've never been so emotionally challenged before.. things that i've bottled up for so long.. i hate telling and i probably will never tell... maybe just not yet.. someone once said that i'll have to deal with my emotions sooner or later.. i've kept calm for so long, little did i know, things have to happen this way.. i just dread the days to hospital.. really!! and every morning and night, i've to pop pills.. i dread it.. at a point, i even stopped taking them.. hate it!! hate it!! hate it!! but what can i do?
to kneel before Jesus and asking for strength... its the only way i can survive.. no other ways man.. the only way!
if only........ time turns back.........
liten shan@
7:22 AM
