Friday, October 15, 2004
just fustrated!!
both dinner is running neck to neck and you know what!! my timing sucks!!
sunday, i've got to go church on sunday and monday's the test!! practical somemore... science practical! i am so busted now...
i can't believe its so difficult to ask him for help... i just hate this!
and another one... i am so disappointed! i should not put too much hope on him... its so disappointing to have such a friend who claims to know and care about you so much but in fact, its just some shit around here... its just some claims and hypocrisy... i should try not to take his lift anymore... feel like i owe him... if he is so willing to drive other people home and make me feel so indebted to him, i rather not have it!
i don't know what's with the caption thingie on friendster...
i realised that all these are just transient... such fleeting pleasures should not be endorsed too fervently... all in all, i just hate him... and i just so do... eeuww!! i can't stand his compliments! its just so fake~ if he really is interested in you as a friend, i don't see why i am getting all these only after i completed a task or two... how stupid! and they thought we are so close but i know nuts about him... nothing!
that fat idiot in the living room hooked on disney cartoons!! stupid!
i am just so... irritated!!
i just hate to admit what my dad says to me yesterday is so true! "where are your church friends when you need help?" what help? my health... i told him i didn't tell them... why? cos i just don't trust them... get it!! or they aren't even concerned at all... i am so fustrated now so much that i just feel like cancelling everything and mug for monday's.
i am going to take back my words and earn a shitty reputation for taking back words... i don't want to care anymore... i'm out! right... there goes the "oh! you can tell me..." forget it! its too late! i am not relying on people anymore, its so hurting when they try to snatch Jesus away from you... i know i shouldn't be feeling like that... but hey! who cares? who even bother to give me a call~ i get so fed up! why me! why do i always have to take the initiative... then again, ahh! just forget the whole issue... this is an issue! but, i can't help it... nevermind the japan trip next year... if God wants me to go, He will provide... i can't continue living a life like that... dad says i am living a life of self denial... i rather just die that to face the truth! why? denial! denial!! denial!!!
whatever...
just fustrated! just vexed! just irritated!! intimidating? preposterous!
i can't imagine all these... felt so helpless...
fortunately, not many people read this... thank jiabin for being so consistent! you are really a source of encouragement!! i think you are the only person who reads my blog... thanks anyway!
liten shan@
1:46 PM
