Tuesday, July 06, 2004
hmm.. taking another hiatus...
but this time round... from cg. at least 6 months... mainly because i believe its time for me to rest and be more focus on my studies... its my final chance and i still believe that by doing well, is also part of God's glory... another reason? here it goes...
my relationship with my churchmates has always been rocky. there is no particular close confidante whom i can really talk to and stuffs. so, in the end, i have always try to fit in their group of people. i am not talking about any particular group but its just that, in the process of trying to fit into any group of people, whether ok4724 or current cg, its pretty straining on my side. as much as i've tried, its always so tiring and every sunday, i'll go back home haggard and fustrated... i know that God is telling me to rest! because, when i went for saturday's service, i have never ever felt this kind of peace in church before. i mean, in japan, i have felt it many times before, but strangely, not in church. about a year ago, i've had this idea but never meted it out. this time round, i want to be firm in my decision and really listening and focusing on my relationship with Jesus than to continue straining my relationship with my church mates. at least, during this break, i can really discern His purpose and plan for me. because, all along, i've known that fellowship is important. but if that fellowship can break me down, then i am not growing. if being crazy for Jesus is going to mean telling my innermost feelings to Him, then, i think saturday's service provides a good ambience and atmostphere where i can fall in love with Jesus again and again! its also a time where i can at least spend a few minutes with aunt lily, my mentor... i haven't been spending time with her at all. our total meetings can be counted with just one hand... haha!!
kartis!! thank you so much for your craziest love for Jesus!! because of this, i know that loving Jesus can be so fun! and because of this, i know that by telling Him my feelings, by giving it to Him, i will be even more crazy for Him!!
wasshy!! thank you for telling me not to give up... because of this, as hard as things can get, i know Jesus will never give up on me and that i can rely on Him!! and thank you for singing to me. i will always remember the friendship we had!!
onechan!! thank you for your prayers and your faith in me!! because of this, i really dared to run after my faith and my passion either for God, His people and photography!! and most importantly, to love them all!! thank you for showing me what leadership and servanthood is all about!!
aki!! thank you for being my friend who motivates me to follow up with you via email!!
hiroto!! thank you for being so willing to share your testimony to me!! through your testimony, i know that being different, i am still loved by Jesus!! and always being there to accomodate all my silly antics!!
kiwako!! thank you for listening to my side of story. for always being there for me... for holding on to my hands when i screams in fear... for always standing beside me and being interested in me...
yuya!! thank you for always opposing me!! because of this, you made me learn how to love my enemies...
yuko!! thank you for telling me that inside me, i am beautiful. because of this, i learnt that i am beautiful in God's eyes and you are always so beautiful!! thank you for massaging me when i am weak!! because of this, i know the beauty of servanthood!!
keiko!! thank you for cutting my banks for me!! because of this, i learnt that trusting and placing my faith on others is more happier than being a control freak!! and thank you for placing so much trust in me!!
kohei!! thank you cycling with me. because of this, my passion for God grew tremendously like the snow capped mountains that we cycled to see at norikuras. because of your powerful prayer walk with God, i grew to love to pray!!
nosuke!! thank you for your tear!! because of this, i know that my faith is like a mustard seed! and i know that even with struggles, i must move on...
yukiko!! thank you for crying out to me!! because of this, i learn that a month's friendship can grow forever... and talking to you reminds me to walk with God closely!
asuka!! thank you for feeling for me!! because of this, i am not afraid to share my testimony!! because of this, i know that i am not alone!!
rieko!! thank you for telling me that i am funny!! because of this, i know that someone is even more funny than me... and because of your vulnerability, i know that i must be kind with words!!
mi-chan!! thank you for driving me home!! because of this, i learnt that although you are small, but God can do great things through you!!
yosshy!! thank you for playing the guitar!! because of this, i know that worshipping the Lord can be whenever and wherever!! thank you for cooking for us, because of this, i know that i should improve on my cooking skills!!
kazu!! thank you for trying to imitating me!! because of this, i know that although i am small i can be a leader of many!!!
shuji kato!! thank you for being me obasan!! otuoto!! i pray that Jesus will come into your life soon!!
yoko!! thank you for being so nice to me!! because of this, i felt so spoilt by you!! thank you for your servanthood to the Lord, i have never felt so ashamed of myself before!!
yasuhiro!! remember that you promise to tell me the story of passion!!
sayaka!! your presence has great impact on me!! because i feel loved by you!!
Jung-san!! thank you for your flowing time!! because of this, i learnt that by giving, i feel more happy than when i receives!! thank you for always cracking silly jokes with me!! cos i have never met anyone as crappy and funny as you!! you are the most handsome pastor i have seen!! (in God's eyes)
jody!! thank you for giving us opportunities to be there!! because of this, i can write so many names and thanksgiving!!
hobbes!! thank you for being such a cute dog!! oh dear!! you are sooooo cuuuuteee!!!
elizabeth!! thank you for inviting us to your place and watch big bird in japan!! because of this, i know that big bird may not always be funny!! because of you, i am challenged to go for missions by faith!!
takumi!! i pray that you will receive Jesus into your life soon!!
most importantly!! thank you Jesus!! for making all this possible!!
liten shan@
4:19 PM
