Friday, May 14, 2004
negative...
everything is so negative right now... i need to believe that the Lord will provide... though my faith is a bit shaken... i have to continue right? i think so... don't know... sigh!!
reports are out... and i turn out to be super negative... which is, i might just be horribly sick right now... no, its not contagious... but its life threatening... yar! so, i shall have to take another test soon.. i do not wish to comment about this any further...
i am like really stressed right now... fortunately, the neighbor next to my room ain't moving in yet... so i can really scream like crazy and not worried that i will be heard or be a disturbance... i still don't understand why the owner refuse to come back from the US and prefer to rent out this place to people... its like, so irritating.. the house is covered with dust... whenever i sleep, i will be thinking.. 'eeks.. the wall behind me is deserted!!' i know.. i know... i think too much... but its part of me...
i am still stress over the support raising... i called a few and asked for referrals... i am still like super way behind... and if i can't reach the 80%, i can't go... sigh!! and its a team effort...so, i hope i won't be the reason why we weren't able to go.. frankly speaking, i've tried my best...
i guess its a personal rights that we feel that we should or would be going... but i guess its still God's priviledge to go... and if He call, He will provide... so i guess i shouldn't be worrying about this anymore...
and i really can't believe the level of spiritual warfare even before we are all going.. its like, its really tense now... everyone is so stress now and the enemy is really using this chance to shake our faith.. but i believe that the battle has finished and we have already won.. but even though, we must still put on the armor of God to fight... and prayer is still the most powerful weapon... so, people!! if you are reading this... pray for us k.. though we're still in our preparation time, we want to trust entirely on God to provide...
surely, i must remember this verse...
'Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Isaiah 41:10
liten shan@
6:26 PM
