Saturday, February 28, 2004
out!
met up with lin, xh and qi today... ate at food court while waiting for weiqi... we ordered too much fruits... couldn't finish it... then... we went burger king and we start talking while xh is studying... lin says she hadn't had the mood to study... weiqi came and proclaim his results to us... helped him in his stuffs and decisions a bit... went thru it.. so i don't want anyone to regret...
then... met up with cg... bought some food... and the strolled to the park and fellowship... were discussing about the group name where jiehuai stopped me and said my tone was too harsh... aggie!! if its really harsh... i apologize... "sorry..." cos maybe i sounded too serious although i am just talking normally...
okay... so when is not normal... when i am joking and crapping around... other than that... my tone is always harsh although i don't mean it... well... that's just me... God made me like that... i don't wish to change for anyone... cos i've been always like that... no matter who i am with...
hmm... maybe i am always crappy... when i am serious... everyone takes it for granted that i am joking only... probably... i don't know... hahahaa...
probably that's why the misunderstanding came about...
anyway... i felt that events or decisions in life is not always well prepared for us... so... whatever that comes... its not about "you should" but its about... "hmm... face it... its the fact!" when my glass cup is broken... sometimes... we cannot get the same thing again... no matter how hard you try... there will still be scars... and missing pieces... so... let God do the mending... if God says... "get a new one... don't waste your time lingering around the old broken one..." then... i'll have to get a new one... so... sometimes... i guess... one really has to be flexible...
i am an introvert by nature... an anti socialist... i find it a hazard to network with people... pay chee keeps telling me to "network"... but... i really don't feel the need to... jiehuai says that we will know people in the near future during our work or studies... but to me... i felt that when the time comes... i will have someone... because... my nature is an introvert... a high D and C... a task oriented and cool and aloof person... i hate to say this... but sometimes... acting crazy is also a way to hide my quiet self... to distract people from knowing the real quiet me...
i always felt that i've made a wrong step in the past... and that is... getting to know almost everyone in the world yet not a single confidante... so, that's why... i am building up my relationship with lin and xh... sometimes... when i know everyone in the world... i say... "hi' here... "hi" there... but in the end... its just a "hi" and "bye" acquaintance... no point at all... and if i were to know the person because of work purpose... then... its just a hypocritical side of me... "i make friends with you with a motive..." you know... that sorta thing... and... i don't want to change just because anyone is not used to it... its just so against the nature... you just want the kind of friend you want... the character you expected... and not an individual you have known... well... if that's the case... why did God made man in the first place...
later... going to spencer and liyee's wedding... finally they are tying the knot... then... i have to rush to foochow methodist for our japan team meeting... and the biggest riddle is... how to get to foochow?!!
liten shan@
4:51 AM
