Friday, December 05, 2003
back from kong kong
back!
my stay over there was pretty ok... not as bad as i though it would turn out to be... i gotta to have a real personal retreat also... gotta know jan, carol, cheryl, priscilla, sean and even laopa better... i even talked to emily for a while... quite a breakthrough! sharing the same room as jan and carol... i really had a great time praying and worshipping the Lord with them together... though they had to accomodate my antics... but its really great... and i can sleep while i was there... hmm... another breakthrough... learnt a lot... experience a lot of God's love... i swings a lot... and ate a lot... crabs...prawns... fish... mantou~ ... and more...
i really like that place...
sunday, 30th nov 2003
ok4724 last meeting!
we went for the nine o'clock service where rev. roger mcknight speaks... his trademark? "all..." headed down to help out the garage sales... then had a thai lunch together at the bench and went up for youth worship... at three, we went into moriah and had our cg there... as usual... frankie shared and he prayed for our future... then, in about 40 minutes time... we had the craziest photo taking session... our cg was in formal wear... josh with a colorful shirt... frank in a white round collared shirt and pants... laopa was forced to wear the dark blue shirt by me... cos i don't want him in pink... grace in a skirt... aggie in a skirt... and jan in a skirt...
(wait! was she in a skirt or pants? cos she kept changing her mind on her dressing...) sue mei in a skirt or a pants? i can't really remember the girls part... because i know guys wears only pants... haha... and the shirts are only mono colored... except for zhuyang's colorful shirt... its hard not to remember... i can't believe he wear the obiang shirt! but anyway... its a shirt... the others were not exactly formal... so i shall not mention... i'm in a brown shirt with a light brown pants and a dark brown coat... and a huge haversack... haha! the photo taking was funny... i remember imitate the girls who said, "i want to take with chaimeng~" with a super high pitch tone and i ended up being pushed to take a picture with him... i tried taking a picture with joshua and it never turns out well... with frankie... erm... can't really remember... i took a lot with the girls... i took with suemei... and i hope it turns out well... the whole group photo taking was funny... laopa kept telling me to take a flasher pose... everyone broke out in laughter... HELLO! i am not a flasher! so, i took off my coat and asks him instead... he said... "don't want la!" so, people! next time if you want someone to do something stupid... you must do it first... hahaha! that teaches him a lesson... and that wacky zhuyang... suggested what "ok4724" human figurines... but we don't have the space and manpower... so we ended up forming a circle... and zhuyang positioned me in between him and john... and just in front of the camera! i looked fat!!!!!!!! uarrgh!!! i think...
the 45 minute session ended and jan, chaimeng and i rushed down to change to casual wear... cos we're going kong kong straightaway... ok4724 ended there... my heart sank...
untill today... my heart still sinks... because we did not have a session where we could really spilt out all our feelings and thoughts that accumulated throughout the whole time we're together... while typing... a part of me says... why can't we have a real time together spitting out everything... at least we can feel better... my heart in sinking deeper and deeper... and no one knows how affected am i?! i can loudly say... I AM SAD AND DOWN AND AFFECTED!... i really don't know how to bring this heart of mine to the next cg... nor even meta camp... i am no longer the xa nor helper in my new cg because i confess that i am not feeling well... not physically... emotionally! and spiritually... and even my heart just sinks and sometimes... i feel like i'm choking on the air i breathe... probably i'm unhappy because joshua and frankie spends more time on other members and i feel isolated... josh and frank calls up other members except for me... i've never felt so abandoned right to my face before... i felt so neglected and alone... ok' to me is like a love-hate relationship... i really don't know i love this cg or hate it... literally... i guess... i'm confused... like what they says... i really don't know...
liten shan@
2:01 AM
