Sunday, November 30, 2003
garage sales blues...
aiyer... so tired now... today was fruitful... had quite a lot of fun... our group combined with jessica's won the most creative business...... haha! expected... with a brainchild like me in the planning... you get wierd stuffs... hahaha! made myself a walking advertisement... gave out flyers at causeway point... and made laopa a walking advertisement later on... it was so funny and embarrassing that i became an ostrich that instant... hahahahahaa!!
saw auntie lily in church today... she's 50++ though she doesn't look that old... sometimes, i'm really envious of aggie and her mentor... jan and her mentor... laopa once told me when we were chatting in btefc when i was enviously looking at jan and aggie... "love does not envy..." sigh~ from then on, i kinda realise that one thing auntie lily has the others might not have... the maturity that can looks beyond myself... she can stand from a parent and a grandparent point of view... which the other mentors can not give... the people my mentor knows... the people she has seen... has become an interesting crux of why i'm so attracted to her when she speaks... and moreover... she is uncle edward's sister... and uncle edward has watch me grow since primary 3... so... this is something real special... haha! now i'm happy!
saw a neighbor in church... whenever i sees her... my heart sinks... deeper than i can grab hold of it... although a moment before i saw her, i was laughing at eunice and jessica's stupid but funny clothes changing competition... but i never knew that my heart can change in split seconds... the thought was horrible... added to justin's scare... i was stunned for a moment... emily saw what happened and says that i can cry if i want to... tears rolled down my cheeks and i sat down to wipe it away... the feeling was horrible... luckily i recovered quickly... i told justin that it was not his fault... walked around a bit... sat alone at the bench... talked to frankie and joshua about what was i going through... it was not easy... cos aggie came later and macarus was sitting on her laps... distracted... i decide to go somewhere else... but, nature calls and i went to the washroom immediately...
crying is so similar to drinking sometimes... after waking up from drunkness... there is this post drunkness that causes extreme painful headaches... when i was on the taxi with frankie... i had no other choice but to ask him if i could borrow his shoulders... haha! i pass him all my headaches... and now i think he is having one... i remember that whenever i've an headache, i'll bang my head against the wall or onto someone else... its pretty effective... everytime... after i cried... i'll have extremely painful headaches... so, banging on the wall or by just pressing my head on the wall helps... no wonder people says i'm wierd...
will not be blogging for the next few days... i think... will be going kong kong... till wednesday... tomorrow's our ok4724 last cg meeting... gonna wear formal... it is untill today that i understand why i'll miss ok4724... the people i've build my trust on will have no time for me anymore... i really don't know who to look for... not jiehuai... not aggie... not jan... i really don't know who... sigh! God Bless me...
liten shan@
3:10 AM
