Monday, October 06, 2003
out!
finally! after a year of struggles... i am outta school... though my future is uncertain... but its really exciting though..
3rd Oct 2003, Friday. i reached school at about 330pm... at block 37 took a lift up to level six to hand in the withdrawal form... the administrator asked me to go to block 47... so i took the lift down to level 2 and walked along the cad cam centre... looking through the window, i saw sen hwa, jun xin, weifa and steven... looking at those four hardworking malaysian's friends.... i just feel like as if i'm useless... anyway, i took a lift up to level six and looked for mister phuah... the admin over there told me that he is in meeting with the directors and am not able to meet me immediately... i waited 2 to 3 hours outside the office for his return... at his office... i told him that i seriously wants to stop... well... he just wished me well and poof* i took the lift down with a sigh of relief that my withdrawal is done... immediately i reached level one and came out of the lobby, i saw sen hwa... he was buying a drink... but i remembered his should be somewhere near the 37 lobby... anyway, i said hi to him and told him that i just handed in my withdrawal form and am officially out of school... his expression was "orh.. HAH!"
(you know those kind of slow and sudden response...) and he was like... "why??" and so on in his malaysian accent in chinese... my eyes starts to redden and tears filled my eyes... i told him of my lack of interest and dead man stuff... he was wishing me all the best and walked me to the end of the block... the whole walk was really wierd... as if its my last journey on earth... so scary... but we made a laugh out of it and parted... the time seems slower than ever... as i walk towards canteen one, i looked at the blocks i know so well with despair... the road... the trees... the slope... finally, i reached the life meeting venue... immediately, i hugged cheryl and tears just flow... i know i'll miss everyone i acquainted in ngee ann... its like, the last life meeting with them as a student for the last time... well, actually, i don't intend to go back to ngee ann except if weilin or anyone wants to meet me there... haha... i'll miss chicken rice... haha... anyway, i broke the news to josh(crusade), cheryl, vincent, dan ho, dan lim, jiajun, jules, jodie, alvin and a few others personally...
(according to the first to know...)calyn knew about it from the beginning... anyway... most of them are stumped and asked me the same ole` question
why... answers them and begin to play like a children with them as its a childrens' day celebration... its a hella ofta lifetime! tough! but a need to let them know... well... at kap mac's i totally do not enjoy the fellowship... because i know its my last time fellowshipping with them as a student... anyway... luckily i look happy enough... went back with jules and had the most terrible time together... i should have went back with jessica...
the rest of the week? terrible... heartaches... and headaches... and stomachaches... and backaches...and neckaches... i have a lot of aches... yikes~ i don't want to be an egg... church without zhuyang is a bit funny... after the service, i talked to jabez and asked him to pray for me... that helps... later on, cg time is like... another children day celebration? had fun... sit in between frankie mummy and chaimeng daddy... haha~ like a big ole` family... christina is finally back for more than 2 hours... haha!! cg was fun... then, i had a talk with jabez again and talked about my uncertainties... he assured me and i think... that helps too... i feel a lot more better... zhiheng pass the book he gave me to frankie and frankie passed me the book on that sunday too... i was so excited that i totally forgot the sadness in me... haha... books help~ i finished that book already... anyway... went window shopping with ok4724 was never easy and is and never will be... haha... i reached home around nine and saw uncle chee yiam... i thought he went back to australia... anyway... i hid in my room and finished the book zhiheng gave... actually, i haven't finished it... there is still some part i skipped... the book title is 'the rose' from taiwan... uncle chee yiam left and i bid him goodbye... dad told me he came back to settle his court case... the rest about the case is confidential... haha... though my dad didn't say... i knew what happened... cos my dad has to attend too... i think... not that uncle chee yiam is bad and is brought to court... aaargh~ whatever... case closed...
i was searching through the web and found something i would like to do... visual communication... but i have no idea what is it really... though i've always wanted to do film making in new york film academy... but, probably... i'll just stick to singapore... found tp and nanyang academy of fine arts... so, i still have some directions... in singapore... haha... though mom is not all for it... sigh... shall talk about to me dad later on... after all... he is a visual designer... haha... we love visuals... hahahaha!
dad came back... he says he did visual communication design when he was in wellington... oh no!!!
liten shan@
7:53 PM
