Wednesday, October 01, 2003
hanging on!
hanging on is a big word... seriously, i really don't know what i am really hanging on to...
sometimes, i just don't know what to do... things are getting so hard to solve these days...
sitting in the lifestyle right now with calyn... thinking of what to write and at the same time... thinking of how to speak to uncle edward later... should i ask him to assure my dad or more to persuade my dad? i have no idea at all... we are born to make decisions... my decision is final... i've sent an email to james leung about my withdrawal... now, i'm waiting for my dad to pen down his beautiful name onto that white piece of dead paper...
zhuyang is an officially a man on mission... will not be seeing him for a long long time... sigh~ here goes my faithful listener...
sometimes, the thoughts that goes through one's mind is really horrible and tedious at the same time... its not like most of the time we can control it... sometimes, the level of horrid and morbid'ness is beyond comprehency... whatever it is... i don't want to think about it...
cheryl once said... yeah~ she do not need advice... she just need a listening ear... and i think most woman is like that... she's not alone... yeah... we have the answers... all we need is... someone to take in our complains and a hard day's work... haha... poor man... poor 'other' woman...
life's short... but i have a long way to go... not easy... but i am sure i'll make it... cos i know i am not relying on my own strength... i will make it one day~ i will not let my father's hard work goes down in vain... i think... i am growing up... i don't know... though my nightmares are getting worse each day... i know my dreams will still be there... okay~ now, i shall move forward... not backward anymore...
so, have i grown up?
liten shan@
10:59 PM
