Monday, February 10, 2003
In the arms of the angel..... I am so so so.... insane..... anyway, sometimes a person can go insane anytime....
let me tell you guys a story.... once....there was this little girl....she lives in a city.... she is a lonely girl..... during week days, she'll attend kindergarden in another city and during weekends, she'll go to her gramps place in the countryside... her dad often brings her around... but she had no friends... she often talked to herself and always talk to imaginary friends... she is well liked by adults because of her appearance but she refuses attention.....she learns a lot from both worlds... she was different from others... though her temper was bad and she is often left out because of her status.... once, she saw her dad moonlighting but when interrogated by her mom, she lied to her mom nothing happened... she was 5 then...
she had a change of kindergarden and she gets to know new friends.... but she was different and couldn't get along well with others... her family immigrated and now she lives in another city.... life in another city changes..... she is often snubbed by other people and because she is taller...people think she is too big.... but she was ok.... all the years, she lived in a world of what people says.... she became what people thinks of her.... a friend approached her to join an christian organization when she was 9... she was not regular and so she missed out a lot... her academic results often surprises people cos sometimes she do very well in her studies but sometimes she totally flunk the whole thing....she was promoted to a better class when she was 12... she was invited to a church when she was 12 and she even cross the borders with them after 3 months of attending that church.... she had only 1 primary school friend with her during her first retreat... years passed by..... she thinks back.....she knew she did not enjoy going to church for the past 5 years... she knew she was paying lips service...though sometimes God really touched her but most of the time... people keeps pushing her to the fire... 5 years later.... she wants to change the system..... no more pushing people to the fire... she wants a revival.... a revival for God.... she knows how it feels....but when she starts her plans.... someone placed many trials for her..... she was pushed to a bottomless pit.... she couldn't climbed up... no one could helped her up.... so she decided to pray.... she prayed.... prayed and prayed..... one day, she decided that God wants to bring her out of the pits.... not by just any ropes, no people are involved... just her trust and faith that God can bring her out... but she knows she'll need time... she knows others cannot accept her thoughts.... she is always a loner... but now she know though she did not engage humanly help.... she is not alone.... someone is with her.... she knows it deep inside her heart.... once... she heard from someone...... a person who is kept constant will never grow.... God makes use of people who are helpless and weak.... God breaks them first and heals them and then builds them up..... and then make use of them as servants for Him.... Amazing eh.... how God can do wonders to people.....
Jesus humbles Himself and live His life in obedience.... even to death.... I attended todays service punctually... Su fern was reading a part in philipians... i don't remember where... but i hope someone can let me know.... i was so touched that tears kept rolling down.... even till now when i think of it.... I mean..... how many people can live a life of obedience even to death.... i know its not easy for me... you know... whenever we have a row with someone, the hardest thing is not facing that person you had conflict with.... the biggest hurdle is oneself..... to humble ourselves to even say sorry.... to humble ourselves to put ourselves in other people's shoes.... its just so hard eh... but it goes back to how much can one live in obedience to Christ and His commandments.... to get angry with someone is usually uncontrollable.... but we must remember to reconcile.... I was actually pissed off when pris said bye when i was on the train.... but on my way back home, the Holy Spirit somehow soften my heart and prompt me to love one another... i messaged back that i was not angry.... well... i think it was a test... if i stayed at home...i am living in disobedience.... if i go and look for them....its humbling myself down ..... and living in obedience....
we talked a lot.... i was glad i went back.... God was there... but sometimes, when we gets excited.....somehow....we'll get drifted away... so its important that we must totally submit ourselves and our conversation to Him... so it would be pure and holy... mylene once said..... we should rectlessly abandoned ourselves to Him....
If you are reading this blog...whoever you are.... do remember... we do not own our lives anymore... Jesus do.... so we must follow Him closely.... cos we're paid with a price... Jesus obedience to death....
liten shan@
12:12 AM
